In Pakistan, we attended several episodes of violence, harassment, repression and even murder of several women through the different layers of our economic strata.
From the Noor Mukaddam rich to the small, a completely unknown little Zainab, we have seen countless girls and women suffer from all the age groups in the hands of the most brutal and violent men. The nation cries, talks about it everywhere, also condemns it – but forgets it until the next cycle of violence affects another girl / woman.
What we do not do is look in our homes, our society and our social structures to see that we may rise to the same type of men in our homes whose actions may not make the headlines of national newspapers today, but they certainly have the same ability to make bad titles later in life. It is time that we focus more on the male child and try to raise better threads.
If we observe an average cleaning, the total objective lies on the little girl. From her eyes, to her clothes, the way she works, speaks, eats or even thinks is analyzed by a microscopic vision and often leads to conferences, arguments, rumbles and sometimes even mental and physical violence. She must learn to live in a cage from birth. She may be very loved at home, but the requirements of family values and society reign in supreme in the hearts and minds of male parents and sisters, and she alone should be the carrier of these values, belief systems and morality throughout her life.
She learns to obey, follow and dare not dream. Marriage and not education or a career is to be its ambition. Families also raise her like someone else’s property and try to make her a perfect wife to be offered as soon as possible. In other words, it becomes the only objective, tension and anxiety of the entire household.
In the middle of all this, the male child is often high differently. He was born with a natural feeling of freedom, challenge and authority. We give him space to question, order and even dictate inside and outside the house. He can wear what he wants, he can walk, sit or sleep as he wants, and he has the choice to say no to anything.
The mantra “Boys will be boys allowing greater acceptability of being macho, with bravado and temperature. The male child is high with a great feeling of privilege to be a man in the house. Thus, no tutoring on family values, moral codes or social pressures. Many boys do not have to register or check anything.
Late nights or every night with a little or light interrogation are a standard in many houses. Thus, while the sisters are hidden to be treated to be obedient and morally correct, the boys do not support such training or expectations. They can get away with murder.
Following the above, the daily life of most girls and most boys are marked by aggression and violence against women in many households. Society has heard and saw countless episodes of harassment and even subjugation and the country today is called the most dangerous place for women in the world.
According to the world annual report of the world’s world difference in the World Forum, Pakistan has now fallen in the last place, ranking 148 out of 148 countries. This last statistic is not a shock or a deviation from what many have shouted and fight.
He has the accuracy of many women and men who have raised their voices to make this country a better place for the other part of the population.
A key element that largely lacks in the education of the early childhood of the male child, at home and in schools, is the accent on emotional intelligence. This orientation will actually solve many social problems in our country.
Teaching boys how to regulate their emotions can lead to crime prevention, drug prevention and suicide prevention. This is how we stop raising adult men who explode, involve or stop at first sight of discomfort and disagreement.
Emotional regulation is not only a gentle skill but on survival. This is the foundation of a society where people can disagree without dehumanizing themselves, where responsibility is not considered an attack and a conflict does not always have to signify violence. If we want a better society, we must instill the regulation / emotional intelligence in the education of the early childhood of our boys.
Our boys must also learn the meaning and importance of consent. They should be taught from the start that when a girl says no, it means no. He must understand that like him, too, she has the right to her body, his mind and his approach in life. She too is a human and is just different from him. That he should learn to treat her like a human and not to look at him as a applicant.
Perhaps a little more understanding of the woman’s biological cycle will make her understand a lot of the moods, attitudes and overall perspectives of a woman. This would certainly help to slow down the “massage” or to undermine many things related to a woman.
At the end of the day, a young boy also needs a healthy role model. Since boys also tend to surround their fathers, it is important that fathers also realize that their children’s breeding is also their responsibility. It’s not just the mother’s JD to raise children.
The father also needs to implement good habits, good deeds and what is not acceptable behavior. If a father is not himself one of those factors, he will be a miserable model for the young boy because he, most likely, will unfortunately grow like him. However, if the father is respectful towards the mother, accepts his points of view and treats her as an equal, the son also will most likely be like him.
It is crucial to educate our boys on the importance of gender equality and misogyny and how horrible and unacceptable it is. They must be raised as feminists and be informed of the important role that a woman plays inside and also if not more outside houses not only for the house but also for a nation.
He must see, hear, read and understand the female models of the family, the country and the world. Finally, it must be taught that real men can also cry because there is nothing wrong with expressing this feeling and that real men do not make girls cry.
In the end, it is prudent to ask our media to show more games like Qarz-e-Jaan, which shows the impact of the poor education of a boy, very well played by the nomator Khan. It is important to tell schools to better prepare our boys. And it is extremely important for our parents to focus much more on our boys, and that too from the first years.
Warning: The points of view expressed in this play are the own writers and do not necessarily reflect the editorial policy of PK Press Club.tv
The writer is an educator and an international baccalaureate consultant (IB). Il tweet / messages: @tbandey
Originally published in the news
